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The Imam's Daughter

Mother's Prayer Manual: Introduction
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Mother's Prayer Manual

The problem of Spirituality and Motherhood

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Before the pitter patter of tiny feet come along, us Muslimah women were active in and out of the house. In the house, we were praying without fear of a child falling. We were reading Qur’an and Islamic books without the nagging of a child wanting something or other. We were praying Tarawih in the masjid without constantly watching out for some child stepping on our little bundle or feeling guilty for our kids running around or dropping cheerios on the prayer room carpet. We could attend Eid, Jum’ah, and Tarawih, prayers since we didn’t have a young one that slept late, napped at noon, or slept early. We were also attending MSA, MYNA, and Masjid activities galore. Even though we were studying and working we still had our free time to do the ‘Traditional Ibadah’ as we liked. We were free…

But the two blue lines on the pregnancy test stick jolts us out of this phase and brings us to a new phase, one I call the ‘Mommyhood Ibadah’ phase. This is the type of Ibadah where you worship Allah through the carrying, bearing, and raising of your small children in His path.

Consider this – every day of your pregnancy, every minute of your labor, every drop of breast milk sucked out of you, every diaper you changed, every smile you gave your child, every night you have awoken to comfort your crying child – can be Ibadah, with many rewards and blessings. I say CAN because you need to have the intention in your heart that you are doing these things for the sake of Allah, because it is this subconscious intention that will keep you patient while you do these things, which is the key to the rewards.

Yet us women, we feel depressed about not doing the ‘traditional Ibadah’. But we shouldn’t. It is just a phase that will pass as soon as your youngest reaches adolescence where she would be able to do everything by herself. It is a comforting thought that every action we do in mommy-hood can count as Ibadah. So we don’t have to beat ourselves up over doing just the minimum in terms of ‘traditional Ibadah’.

But it also works the other way around too. You NEED, or rather your soul NEEDS to have a quality in the ‘traditional Ibadah’ that you do have to do. Your sould needs it, your mood needs it, and your kids and family need it. You need quality ‘traditional Ibadah’ to be able to do quality ‘mommyhood Ibadah’.

How so, you ask? Prayer is the link to Allah. If your prayers are of good quality, then your relationship with Allah will be strong, which gives you the will, strength, and patience to carry, bear, and raise children.

This manual is your guide to increasing the quantity and quality of your prayers. So you can be the best Muslimah Mommy you can be.

I have two small children of my own, and have struggled with these issues myself. But I found a way, through trial and error, and I want to share my experiences, tips, and advice in the issue of motherhood and spirituality.

by Mona Eid